Methods of Hiring ( Cool humor article )

 

Methods of Hiring     Cognizant Method: Hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do. give him gobi 65 to eat again and again. hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit give them same gobi 65 to eat hire 200 more....... and more ....... TCS method: Hire a lion give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary lion dies of hunger and frustration IBM's metbod: hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour... he dies of unemployment. .. Syntel Method: Hire a Cat ... assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite. Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion.... MBT method: hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job. Lion dies of the strain? i-Flex method: Hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion) holy cow dies in fear of the real lion. Polaris Method: hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) .. change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM) cut down his allowance (coupons etc) lion dies from fear of becoming CAT..... Patni method: hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat... the lion dies before joining.... Wipro Method: Hire a Lion, give him a mail Id. he will die recieving stupid mails all day........! ! !!! Accenture Method: *Hire a lion.... ** Send him to chennai Ask him to stay on bench for a long time Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL... No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger". Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......   There are more humor articles for you click on the link below...(must read)     (1)Methods of Hiring (2)Diary of a Blonde Wife (3)why men are happier (4)GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN (5)Difference between appraisal and resignation

Salary Expected for Sardar

Salary Expected         Sardar ji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column  "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote: Yes ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......     A Teacher lecturing on population - In india after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up - we must find & stop her ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......     Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of "WIFE." It means...Without Information Fighting Every time! WIFE says No, it means - With Idiot for Ever ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......     A sardar ji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse. He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......       More Jokes & Funny SMS for U !-) ( click on the link below )   | Baniya AD | Xcuse me | Mr. Bean | spots | appointment |   | Ur the 1st thing | What is a girl friend | Why upset ? | Bedroom footie |   ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .........

FW: {funlok} : Good Morning motivations

----- Original Message -----
Subject: {funlok} : Good Morning motivations
Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 3:56:27
From: umrao.jaan <Undisclosed@.missing-host-name.>

 

 
Good Morning motivations
 
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There are More Funny Links For You. Enjoy...

A Train Runs Through a Market ( crazy )

Collegehumor

Fun - ( mix )

BANG UR HEAD

Cute little animals

Eyes From Animals

 

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FW: Visualise your Goal ( COOL STORY )

----- Original Message -----
Subject: Visualise your Goal ( COOL STORY )
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 2009 11:11:30
From: Yaalini Swanimathan <Undisclosed@.missing.host.name>

 

Visualise your Goal
 
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The Catalina  Island is twenty-one miles away from the coast of California, and many people have taken the challenge to  swim across it.
On July 4th 1952, Florence Chadwick stepped into the water off Catalina  Island  to swim across to the California  coast. She started well and on course, but later fatigue set in, and the weather  became cold.  
She persisted, but fifteen hours later, numb and cold, she  asked to be taken out of the water.
After she recovered, she was told  that she had been pulled out only half a mile away from the coast. She commented  that she could have made it, if the fog had not affected her vision and she  would have just seen the land.
She promised that this would be the only time  that she would ever quit. She went back to her rigorous training. And two  months later she swam that same channel. The same thing happened. The fatigue  set in, and the fog obscured her view, but this time she swam with faith and vision of the land in her mind. She knew that somewhere behind the fog was land.  
She succeeded and became the first woman to swim the Catalina  Channel. She  even broke the men's record by two hours. SUCCESS  PRINCIPLES When you set your goal, keep pressing on even when you are  tired, physically and mentally, and even though there are many challenges ahead.  
Keep the vision of your goal crystal clear before you and never, never, never…  give up! See the reaching, commit to it, and you will surely see your goal  realized.
*******
 

There are More Good stories for You. Click on the Links Below... ( MUST READ )
(1 Visualise your Goal (2) The Parable Of The Spoons (3) THE MAN WHO WILLED HIMSELF TO DIE (4) Don't Judge to Quickly (5) A Nice Story about Love

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FW: {funlok} : Corporate Lesson: The Washerman, Dog and Donkey

----- Original Message -----
Subject: {funlok} : Corporate Lesson: The Washerman, Dog and Donkey
Date: Fri, 31 Oct 2008 3:59:42
From: funlok.com <Undisclosed@.missing-host-name.>

 
The Washerman, Dog and Donkey
 
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Good story with old version…

 
There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog.

 
One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake.

 
The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson.

 
The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly.

 
Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.

 
Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Now take a new look at the same story…
 
The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute.

 
He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night.

 
He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it.

 
Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet.

 
The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed a " meets requirement" Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around.

 
The donkey was rated as "star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation…

 
If you have worked in a corporate environment, I am sure you have guessed the characters of the new story.

 

I Have More Good Stories for U !-) ( click on the links below )
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 |  PRICELESS WORDS   |  Breakfast at McDonalds   |  wolves   | Real Love....  |

 
|  Boy and Tree   |  Come Home Early    | Cookies  |  How to kill your mother in law   |

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Forward this mail to Your Friends If You Liked... !
 
 
 
 
 
 

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